Dear Lady Monster,
I'm curious why my girlfriend will suddenly pee on me sometimes during sex. I'll either be going down on her or having sex or masturbating her and then all this pee comes out and everything gets wet. She's not that freaked out by it cause it happens to her all the time. She claims it's not pee. It doesn't smell like pee either. What is it?
Oh My Gush!
It is not pee. It is female ejaculation.
The anatomy of a woman's vaginal canal is an extraordinary landscape, filled with nerves, ducts and spongy tissue. This phenomenal architectural network becomes engorged when aroused, like a penis becomes engorged with blood. Some of that network also fills with fluid from the Skene's glands. It is an anatomical feature in every woman.
The urethral sponge is where the G-Spot is located. It can be felt through the vaginal wall, as a harder texture. The location is considered mysterious because it is not stationary. It can shift positions, expand and contract.
I recommend reading Rebecca Chalker's book, “The Clitoral Truth” (©2000). It has diagrams, mapping the territory of the urethral sponge, network of the clitoris and other female anatomy, in addition to great written detail.
There are 18 parts of clitoris: erectile tissue, glands, muscles, blood vessels and 8000 sensory nerve endings (more than any other structure in a human body). About 4 times as many nerve endings in the clitoris than the penis. It has one purpose - to create pleasure, receiving and sending transmissions of sensation via touch, pressure and vibrations. The visible portion is only one very small part, it is actually quite extensive.
The Skene's Glands are where ejaculate fluid is manufactured. Surrounded by spongy erectile tissue, the female urethra is embedded with up to three dozen tiny prostatic glands. It's directly equivalent to the alkaline secretion of the male prostate.
Every woman has very different experiences with her urethral sponge. Some women do not ejaculate. Those who do, vary a lot. For some it's like a squirt gun, creating a sexual fountain effect. Some women gush like a flooded river, soaking through a thin mattress. Some create a “wet spot” with a few drops of fluid. Some have found penetration is the key, others have the experience exclusively from clitoral stimulation. It happens to some before orgasm, and others afterward. Some find stimulating this area very irritating or even painful because of its sensitive nature.
The quantity of this fluid is not the only variable. The smell and taste depend on a woman's diet, her menstrual cycle and medications. It can even vary during a period of stimulation.
Some women and men are uninformed about female ejaculation. They think it's urine and are repulsed. Some women control their ejaculation, holding back from their partner, not wanting to feel shame, guilt or ridicule. A partner who is aware of female ejaculation, and does not judge a woman who possesses this gift, is liberating and can make the act an indulgence.
Women can learn ejaculatory control. Those that ejaculate, can learn more about it to increase the frequency and likelihood. They can also learn more ways to make it happen.
I also recommend Deborah Addington's groundbreaking book, “A Hand In The Bush” (©1997). Because a fist takes up all of the space within the vaginal canal, applying pressure to the urethral sponge like no other sex act, ejaculation will occur.
Self-explore, spelunk the mysteries of the folds, find what feels good or does not. Getting used to yourself creating these sensations, can make them more pleasurable when a partner is also discovering them.
I hope this answers your question and inspires you and your partner to keep exploring the vast reaches of female sexuality and the extraordinary possibilities available.
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Dear Lady Monster,