Decide if you’re the Party of Caligula or Brewster's Millions.

Vladamir Putin: Reread the Communist Manifesto, and stop bribing Republican politicians who cut social programs and taking measures to create greater class disparities in hopes of collapsing our economy. Oh wait; I get what you’re doing.

Pedophiles: Barely Legal Magazine is not child porn for a reason. Follow this logic.

The Constitution: Campaign finance reform. Pass 28th Amendment to overturn Citizen's United which was a Supreme Court ruling that allowed corporations to pump money into elections in a manner that corrupts the process into not working for American citizens’ best interests. This would also make shopping easier.

Humans: Don’t fall for false equivalencies or weird name games. At best they can be non-logic-based coincidences utilized for further exploration. Like most languages, they should be viewed as attempts to communicate instead of truths.

Pride: Allocate the funds, create that space, and give that hug. Pride4: Accept that hug, build within that space. I like naked ladies so this not really my discussion. From an outside perspective, I would wager there are plenty of gay, bi, lesbian and trans youths that shouldn’t have to feel like Pride isn’t for them or feel like they need to take sides along race and class lines.

Columbus Police: None of this can be fun. Preventive training would be helpful for the soul is my guess. You have a stressful job. Maybe keep a masseuse at each precinct.

Columbus Radio: Diversify hip hop radio play lists. Classic Hip Hop Boom 106.3 disappeared from the dial. I suggest combining this format with contemporary hip hop stations like 107.5. Subtract the whack song from each era. I don't want to hear N2Deep, or Vanilla Ice just as much as I don't want to hear Ja-Rule Or Fetty Wap. So if you put Public Enemy and Slick Rick in the mix with Big Sean, Jay-Z , Kendrick and Lil Uzi Vert, then you would probably have a better musical program. Also, multi-generational programming would help sell existing catalog records and reinvent touring.

Eminem: Limited edition vinyl EP with songs from “Revival” and a couple remixes and or posse cuts. I’m 100 percent believing you can fulfill hip hop’s promise to make change. Michigan was just 70,000 votes. Congrats regarding the number one album – just from a hip hop fan who buys vinyl. I would love a 6-song vinyl EP that has “Like Home,” “Untouchable,” “Framed,” “Walk on Water,” a banger posse cut featuring Westside Gunn, Action Bronson, Tee Grizzly, Danny Brown and Yelawolf and some sort of “I Gotcha Opin” remix of one of the power ballads by NO iD or maybe someone from Michigan like Quelle Chris. Ed Sheeran has a purpose if your one of the largest music stars of the past 20 years. Completely support your potential to help cause change. Just an idea.

The Olympics: Figure out how to make Eminem's “Like Home” an anthem because this song is the most straightforward Bruce Springsteen articulation of resistance.

Steven Spielberg: Host a premier for “Ready Player One” at the Carriage Place Movie theatre. They are no longer a dollar theater so try to do it during the matinee which costs $4.99. “Ready Player One” is Spielberg's upcoming film set in Columbus, Ohio during the year 2045.

Urban Meyer: Please host a charity flag football game between the staffs of Yogi’s and On the Rocks.

NBA refs: Stop letting people foul Lebron James. Just because he is your brand’s most important asset doesn’t implyhe doesn't have feelings and that games should have tainted outcomes diminishing the viewers reverence for professional basketball.

Columbus Hip Hop: Good work in creating a sustainable 4 element culture. This year try to make albums that are as good as whatever you view as the best hip hop records of all time.

Cardi B: ‘Dance no more. Go Honeymoon.