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There’s a new X-Men movie out, the excellent Days of Future Past, and that means it’s time for the Fake Geek Boys to phone in filler about the X-Men characters they remember from the 90s cartoon. But here at the Free Press mutants are serious business, so instead of the Top 10 Most Overrated X-Men, I present to you: The Top 10 X-Men Who Are Better Than the Alive’s Top 10 X-Men.

 

10. Longshot

Engineered in another dimension to be the ultimate fighting performer, Longshot also has the power of Luck on his side. Every thrown knife hits its target and every lady (and man so inclined) swoons for him. It helps that he’s a naïve and likable guy.

9. Colossus

Piotr Rasputin is the classic big guy with a heart of gold—and skin of organic steel. The big Russian softie is a capable fighter and one-half of the classic Fastball Special, but he’d rather be painting.

8. Magik

Colossus’s little sister Illyana can create teleportation disks, but that’s nothing compared to her abilities as a sorceress, learned during a childhood spent as a captive in the hellish dimension of Limbo. Which she now rules. Let me repeat: COLOSSUS’S BABY SISTER RULES A DIMENSION OF DEMONS.

7. Multiple Man

Jamie Madrox creates duplicates of himself. He’s also a film noir-loving private investigator who founded X-Factor Investigations. Pick up a copy of Peter David’s Madrox: Multiple Choice to see just how great this character is.

6. Cyclops

Scott Summers doesn’t get much love these days. The X-Men’s Boy Scout has had to make so many hard decisions for the greater good that he’s started to seem more like a villain. But that’s what makes him so interesting!

5. Emma Frost

The X-Men have a long history of rehabilitating their villains, but the former White Queen still has a dark streak. Lately romantically involved with ex-goody-goody Cyclops, it’s fascinating to watch them pull each other into the moral middle ground.

4. Rachel Grey

Though she’s Cable’s semi-sister (It’s Complicated), there’s a lot more to Rachel than guns and grimacing. Having inherited her mother Jean’s psychic abilities (and bright red hair), she was the catalyst for the original version of Days of Future Past. In her dystopian future she was used to track down other mutants. In the present she’s hosted the Phoenix Force.

3. Storm

Ororo Munroe has been the heart and soul of the X-Men for decades. Worshipped as a goddess in her homeland because of her powers, she’s confident and capable, sometimes taking leadership of the team. She’s not only one of the best-known women superheroes, but one of the best-known black ones as well.

2. Kitty Pryde

Introduced as a bright 13-year-old who had just discovered the ability to phase through solid objects, Kitty started as the X-Men’s kid sister. She’s grown up a lot since then, becoming best friends with Wolverine, training with ninjas, working with SHIELD, and now teaching younger mutants. She’s also great with computers and has a pet dragon.

1. Professor X

Charles Xavier often stays in the background these days, but he will always be the father figure of the family that is the X-Men. The best fiction reflects reality, and Professor X’s dream of mutants living in peace alongside the rest of humanity owes a lot to the Civil Rights movement of the 60s. If not for this bald, wheelchair-bound psychic, there would be no X-Men.