The peace prize given to Donald Trump by the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) is probably as legitimate as the golf tournaments he wins on his own golf courses, which, for some reason, never have any video footage attached to them.

What better way to repair your image after a corruption scandal than to be seen hanging out with Donald Trump? Next time, involve Donald Trump in your corruption, and you won't hear the term “federal prosecutors.

With Netflix and Paramount both trying to purchase Warner Bros., I expect them not to outbid so much, but to out-bribe for Donald Trump's approval.

FIFA president Gianni Infantino introduced the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize this year, which was announced during the drawing in Washington, DC, for the 2026 World Cup. Infantino presented the award to the giant orange infant after saying it was designated for a person who has “taken exceptional and extraordinary actions for peace” and “united people across the world.” Do you take sugar with your bullshit?

Trump, who is a bit of a hoarder and loves trinkets, was presented with a large golden trophy and a medal by the soccer organization. Now, everyone expects the FIFA Peace Prize to replace the Nobel Peace Prize in prestige, not.

Trump said, “This is truly one of the great honours of my life,” you know, to win a soccer peace prize. He then claimed he had saved “tens of millions of lives” through diplomatic interventions and had “stopped wars happening just before they started.” You know, wars that never existed.

The trophy depicts a globe held up by several hands, which Jon Stewart described as an “entirely fictitious golden butt plug,” and “Why do we gotta invent some prize just to satisfy some fragile egomaniac? Trump is so needy. It’s like the world always has to reach out and stroke his balls.”

Sunny Hostin of The View said it's a “fake award” for someone still jealous that “President Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize.”

California Governor Gavin Newsom mocked the award by tweeting that he had won the inaugural Kohl's Peace Prize, which comes with a $50 gift card.

Someone sent me a $20 gift card to Panera, which might be worth more than Donald Trump's fake peace prize. Does Panera still have that turkey sandwich with thin slices of apple on it? If so, I'm excited for lunch.

The entire world knows that it is easy to play Trump just by appeasing his ego, or maybe FIFA was just trying to keep him from stealing next year's winner’s trophy.

Last August, Tim Cook of Apple presented Donald Trump with a trophy in the Oval Office, yet they can't include a charger when you buy a new iPhone.