Special to the FreePress
Editor's Note: Thanks to a secret satirical recording device implanted into Donald Trump's hair, an actual fake transcript has emerged from the fake president's recent meeting with his actual owner, Vladimir Putin. Reader discretion is advised:
TRUMP: Well, Putie, I think we can talk frankly now. There will be no recording of this part of our conversation.
PUTIN (chuckling): Right, Donald. I would never record anything between us without letting you know first. At the KGB we made it a strict policy to honor the privacy of all citizens, Russian, American, Chechnyan and, of course, Siberian, where so many of our great patriots are still so happy to do volunteer labor.
TRUMP: Well first I must thank you for putting me in the White House. I could never have stolen the 2016 election without you.