AUSTIN, Texas -- The Old War Criminal is back. I try not to hold grudges, but I must admit I have never lost one ounce of rancor toward Henry Kissinger, that cynical, slithery, self-absorbed pathological liar. He has all the loyalty and principle of Charles Talleyrand, whom Napoleon described as "a piece of dung in a silk stocking."

Come to think of it, Talleyrand looks pretty good compared to Kissinger, who always aspired to be Metternich (a 19th century Austrian diplomat). Just count the number of Americans and Vietnamese who died between 1969 and 1973, and see if you can find any indication he ever gave a damn.

As for Kissinger's getting the Nobel Peace Prize, it is a thing so wrong it has come to define wrongness -- as in, "As weird as the time Henry Kissinger got the Nobel Peace Prize."

Tom Lehrer, who was a lovely political satirist, gave up satire after that blow.

The War Criminal's return is the only piece of news I have yet found in Bob Woodward's new book, and what amazes me is the reaction to the work. Gosh, gasp, imagine, Woodward says the war's a disaster!

AUSTIN, Texas -- Chris Bell for governor! I know, I know, it's stop the presses, Ivins favors Democrat! But the Kinky Friedman candidacy is worn thin and no fun. Besides, we actually have a good chance to get Rick Perry out of office. After six years in office, the Coiffure is so little loved he's pulling only 35 percent of likely voters. He gets another four years, I don't think we'll have a public school system left -- he really does intend to destroy it, at far-right GOP donor Jim Leininger's bidding, you know. We may never again get a chance to do our state such a great service. This could be the Alamo of elections.

For those, like me, who believe in music and laughter in politics, Kinky Friedman appeared to be a natural -- and besides, how hard can it be?

It turns out, a little harder than Kinky is willing to make an effort to go. In an excruciating interview with the Dallas Morning News, Friedman not only got about half his facts wrong (this is why we accuse Bush of misleading people), but also demonstrated that he does not understand school finance or taxes, nor does he have any intention of trying to do so.

Dear Editor,

  Employers and injured workers should be able to deal with BWC directly. There is no need for employers to work through insurance companies which charge high fees, for them to get into a favorable groups. These companies make big profits and pay their executives high salaries. When a worker gets injured, another for profit company administers the case, overseeing the costs of hospitals, physicians etc. To many injured worker must sue to get their just benefits. Often the employer is penalized because the injured worker is allowed to not work for a longer time than necessary. Often if the employee works for cash on another job during his “recovery”, no action is taken even when the BWC and the company administrating the case know it. When an employer has one or more injury to his employees, the premiums go so high that small companies sometimes must go out of business.It also causes businesses to go to other states. 

BANGKOK, Thailand -- Thailand's new constitution should boost the right to strike and form unions, end discrimination against politicians without Bachelor's degrees, nationalize public and security infrastructure, and allow people to vote from any ballot box in the country, reformists said.

After crushing free speech, banning political activity, detaining former elected officials, and clamping Thailand under military rule, Bangkok's new coup leaders promised to install an interim prime minister within two weeks, write a new constitution to replace the now-trashed 1997 charter, and stage a nationwide election in one year.

The coup leaders cited alleged "loopholes" in the previous constitution, written with idealism and expectations for democracy after a brutal 1991 military coup ended in a bloody, popular insurrection.

The new coup leaders ordered people to call the junta, The Council for Democratic Reform under Constitutional Monarchy (CDRM), giving people fresh hope the constitution would be reformed to benefit the masses.

The world is in tumult, but here in the heart of Empire, the level of creative political energy runs flat along the bottom of the graph. As Iraq disintegrates amid frightful slaughter, U.S. generals propose to bring to life the mad plan they once ascribed to Saddam Hussein, to dig a defensive ditch round Baghdad, one of the larger cities on the planet. In Afghanistan, the Taliban are once again on the rise. Amid these vivid implosions of the "war on terror," the U.S. antiwar movement is near dead.

Here in the homeland, the mightiest names of the auto-industrial age have their backs to the wall. Tens of thousands of men and women face grim times as Ford and GM shutter plant after plant. Yet the pulse of organized labor amid this devastation is feeble. From the environmental movement there is an even fainter heartbeat, even as an actual conspiracy -- official concealment of the toxic toll on New Yorkers from the 9/11 attack -- finally comes to light. There's no convincing energy plan beyond posturing about a nature reserve in Alaska; no protest at the giveaways of public lands.