Band

First they came for the Descendents: I’d voted against Trump. Then they came for Taylor Swift: I still am voting against Trump.

Saturday, 9-14-2024….I took the Number 1, a 62 dollar 31 day bus pass dropped me off in front of North Market.

I walked down into Kemba. I saw punks of all ages excited about Columbus’ 2024 liveage.

The Descendents took the stage at Kemba Live.

Descendents’ singer, Milo Aukerman yelled O-H…Kemba Live responded I-O—-Milo Aukerman announced Descendent’s haven’t played Columbus since Staches.

I looked up Descendents at Staches. I found online…Descendents played Staches every year from 1985-1987. I didn’t know how far Descendents went back. The legendary New Alliace/SST/Epitaph/Fat Wreck band launched into “Feel This,” “Hope,” and one of my favorite Descendent’s songs, “Silly Girl.”

I saw a punk in orbit riding shoulders, and hands towards the stage in a trajectory of my left vantage. I looked at our surroundings. A buff kid in a tank-top sung along. Kemba’s entire audience were elated in company of punk legends.

I liked the Descendents as a teenager. I haven’t listened in years. I still like Descendents. I looked around. Kemba was packed. People of all ages filled Kemba. Descendents aren’t a band you regret.

The youths were in control of the excitement.

Descendents played “I Wanna Be a Bear.” Descendants drummer Bill Stevenson’s aggressive rhythm drove the hook and chorus. I’d described the Descendants as Dead Milkmen with Surf City pop attributes.

After hearing Staches mentioned, I decided I’d look up which year Descendants were founded. The Descendants were founded in late 70’s Southern California. Descendents preceded Philadelphia’s 1983’s Dead Milkmen. Descendants played “Clean Sheets,” “Everything Sux” and several other songs while teenagers slam-danced. I laughed. I understood why teenagers liked the Descendents while Milo sung , “I Like Food.” about…Noshing vittles. Teenagers like Descendants because the band sings about food, relationships, non-conformity, and fun.

Everyone chanyed, “I like food/ food tastes good.”

While watching Descendents’ rousing pit…I found myself in a boisterous crack-up.

During the January 6th testimonies,  Jason Van Tatenhove of the far-right paramilitary group the Oath Keepers wore a Descendents’ shirt. Jason Van Tatenhove resembled as if alt-right leader,  Proud Boy, and Vice co-founder, Gavin McInnes was a weird dork.

A comical band shirt downplays white supremest violence.

The Descendents aren’t scary. The Descendents are silly, naive fun.

The Descendants denounced the Oath Keepers after Jason Van Tatenhove’s public appearance in front of Liz Chaney, Jamie Raskin, Adam Kinzinger and Ben Thompson:

“We completely disavow groups like the Oath Keepers, and in no way condone their hateful ideology.” 4:20 July 12, 2022.

The Descendents already had scolded Trump with 2021’s,  “Thats the Breaks.” singing, “Caught in a bald-faced lie again/fucking twit….You asshole Twitter troll.”

The Descendents also opposed Trump in 2020 with three ukulele songs. Milo felt a ukulele used a Woody Guthrie vibe.

An Oath Keeper in a Descendents shirt was another example of Trump’s fake elector culture’s appropriation of those that criticized the avowed Islamaphobic, sexual predator by co-opting Descendent’s counter-culture presence for alt-right rebellion.

I read Breakfast Club’s Charlemagne the God’s book Small Talk is Cheap last week. Charlemagne the God rebuked January 6th’s white supremacist violence. During January 6, white supremacists violently attacked black people while screaming the n-word because a black woman named Kamala won the Vice Presidency with 81,200,000 votes.

In another attempt at ruining skateboard culture.

Jason Van Tatenhove Descendent’s shirt downplayed racial violence occurred at anger towards over 81 million people who voted for a black woman after eight years of Obama.

I stood at Kemba chuckling at the Oath Keepers were attempted rebrand.

I keep laughing as Descendent’s blasted into “My Dad Sucks” and “Van.”

I tried remembering if Descendents ever released any political songs except songs denouncing Trump.

The Descendent jumped into “Merican.” The entire room agreed: Ku Klux Klan, racism, and genocide are lame.

I felt relief teens still don’t like the KKK even after Trump.

Everyone partied, and crowd-surfed in opposition of the KKK. People kept moshing for several songs.

In 1985, Staches’ capacity was 140 people..

I thought about Descendents’ exponential growth in audience.

Dave Grohl of Nirvana, and Blink 182 were influenced by Descendents.

In 2024, 2200 people were watching the Descendents.

Kids in the front danced in a capacity room with people of all ages.

Why is Descendents’ audience larger in 2024 than in 1985?

Descendents’ brand is the exact same..…Descendents like: Food, dating, and music:  Descendents don’t like: Ku Klux Klan, and liars. Nourishment, relationships, and opposing weird violent hate-mongers is a reliable market.

Then, I heard the song which I loved the most: “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up.”

Kids pumped their fists, and yelled :

“If growing up means being like you/Then I don’t wanna be like you….……….You’re a fool.”

Imagine if your parents supported the Capital Riots during your freshman year.

‘I can’t rock bangs with a shaved occipital but weird nazi’s larpers can play dress up in bizarre uniforms, and viking costumes because Trump lost an election.’

I’m sure kids think some grown-ups are tremendous fools in 2024. Kids were having fun like Donald Trump didn’t exist.

Descendents played several songs and left the stage after “Suburban Home” and “Smile.”

Kemba gave standing ovations. Descendents returned.

Descendents played three encores songs. I saw several teenage girls in the pit. Descendents didn’t play “Pervert” which is about sex.

Descendents were off stage in time before 11. I flicked the merch booth because Descendents shirts were back in Descendent’s correct setting: Teenagers who like food, and hate the Ku Klux Klan.

I walked into the Short North while bumping my radio show, “Sex Curfew” 11pm Saturdays wcrsfm.org 92.7 / 98.3.