A list of bands with a lot of handwritten notes all over it

I began my month certain that Metallica possessed the mother bread of justice. I feel they understand the human condition and have a special role in American culture. Everyone I know says, “I love the first three or four Metallica albums.” Metallica only got popular during the past 25 years.

In 2017, Monday is dedicated to Metallica. Tuesday is dedicated to bands influenced by Metallica. In 1989, they couldn’t even win the Grammy over Jethro Tull.

The month ended with me watching Metallica begin their set at Rock on the Range screaming in Columbus: “Hard-Wired to Self-destruct.”  This was in front of the largest crowd I’d even seen for music in Columbus. This is from Metallica’s platinum album of the same meme.

How do you interpret this meme?  Human death drive?  The condition of our country that appears to have spited themselves into Russian subterfuge? Who are the fall guys for the oligarchical revenge of the one percent?

If a FISA warrant falls in the Russian Mob’s woods does it record a sound? Do they reference technology that leaves issues of surveillance, hacking and electronic mishaps? 

My working electronics found interviews with Lars Ulrich and Kirk Hammett disproving theories that the Angry-White males are a monolith in solidarity with the cornball in chief. James Hetfield had no political opinion but seemed to constantly infer Robert Trujillo former band's name is relevant to understanding our the recent unraveling.

It's easy to call the coward-in-chief the Dalton Trumbo of America’s paralysis. It’s easy to say Ohio’s gerrymandering can be changed this year. It’s easy for me to walk outside and talk to people.

In the beginning of May, Detox, Pos 2, and DJ True Skills deejayed an all-vinyl party at Brothers Drake. People danced to somewhat obscure songs that provided the correct mood for dancing.

I drunkenly mentioned that the Dem’s were using “Hold the Floor” during their filibusters to cruel Republican policies. I found myself pitching an “Impeach the President” party based on the Honey Drippers song about Nixon that is one of the most-sampled breaks in Hip Hop history.

Last week, I found myself at the Grrrl’s Rock Columbus Benefit at Ace of Cups. I arrived just before MungBean took the stage. From their web presence, I thought MungBean was going to have electronic-sounds with singing with a sequencing and delivery comparable to Nite Jewel. Instead, they gave room for Emma Swysgood to belt a vocal range that had a Bjork-sounding allure.

Jae Esquire took the stage next, rapping a heavily referencing acapella that resembled pop-culture narration in rapid delivery.

I sat around my next few days getting my guest-list requests for Rock on the Range either ignored, or in the case of Metallica, and Turnstile's: not allotted. During this same inquiry, I found that Putin had banned the travel visas of Metal bands Cannibal Corpse, and Behemoth.

Even Lady Gaga had been suppressed by Putin’s Metal Travel ban. Metallica seems unaffected. I’m guessing it’s because no one can stop the Metal Militia. I did not think Putin was banning me from Rock on the Range. But it did make me want to go to the Range just to make the headline, “FUCK PUTIN’S METAL TRAVEL BAN.”

That and I grew up on Metallica. If you really think about Public Enemy’s Slayer sampling “She Watches Channel Zero” it proves that “...And Justice for All” combined with the more popular Public Enemy records developed a value system in which the “Yeezus” logo could both symbolize our countries’ ideals and short-comings.

Metallica was platinum at Zorlac singing about war casualties, and Reagan-era corruption. What do you want?

Not deterred from seeing the biggest rock band of the past 30 years: I decided I could rock with the community aspect of Rock on the Range, 

If you live in the North Campus/Washington Beach area, Rock on the Range permeates the neighborhood. I ran into someone who had a pass but was not able to watch Rock on the Range. I bartered three Bud Selected beers, and a Blaze Pizza for the admittance. The fact that heavy rain was three minutes away helped this transaction.

Soon, I stood on the field in the pouring rain with my cell phone, my car keys and wallet tucked in a cup I found on the ground, and I enlisted a beer can as a makeshift lid to keep my electronics from ruin. Volbeat finished their set. It was time for Metallica.

Metallica took the stage. Hetfield announced that Metallica would play. The band just said everyone just needed to be safe alluding to the lightning. Metallica launched into “Hard-Wired” and then “Atlas” off their new record.

The Metallifux spanned their catalog.  Everything from “Creeping ” to “Enter Sandman” was blistering, stripped and unleashed. 

Robert Truilllo rocked Cliff Burton’s bass solo in the middle and it was done with Chris Cornell on everyone’s mind.

After reading Lars and Kirk’s views on my cellphone on the way home, I’m obliged to document:

Men who kick-ass do oppose the regime. Machismo does not equate destroying America out of spite.





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