October is National Kink Month as declared by JT Stockroom and The Pleasure Coach, both of Los Angeles. They define it as “Kink Month is a public education campaign – but one that appeals as much to seasoned BDSM players looking to extend their repertoire as it does to beginners curious about incorporating fetish roleplay into their love life.” How does one define “kinky?” Is it merely anything besides “vanilla?” Who says what is vanilla and what is kinky? How is the boundary established and how does one cross that imaginary line into the Land O'Kink? Is it merely something considered unconventional or taboo? When does the popularity of the taboo then become tame? Is it decided by sexuality, gender, region, class or culture? What are all of the sociological implications related to kink? These are some boundaries that continually change. The more people become aware, the less freaky being a freak in bed becomes. Or, is it purely a definition one places on going outside the norm of their regular sex life? For some, having a heavy BDSM lifestyle is the norm and having intercourse via the Missionary position could be their kink. It all depends on who is defining “kink.” If one goes to and looks at the massive list of fetishes, anyone of those words could be considered a “kink.” And, nearly each of those words has their own group of people interested in it and willing to discuss it in an online forum. The Marquis de Sade wrote, Les 120 Journées de Sodome (One Hundred and Twenty Days of Sodom), in which he graphically described numerous varieties of sexual perversion, while imprisoned for enacting some of those perversions. Sir Richard Francis Burton translated the Kama Sutra to English in the 1880's. He was already well-studied in Anthropology, sexual histories and practices in India, Africa, the Middle East and other lands. Even his notes for “The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night” (Arabian Nights) are called “kinky.” However, he was also making a pointed attack against the Obscene Publications Act of 1857 and the Society for the Suppression of Vice with the publications of his “pornographic” books. When Alfred Kinsey first began to ask people how they were sexually stimulated and what their sexual practices were, how revelatory was this information to him and his colleagues? What I personally find fascinating is, even when someone knows that they are not alone in having this kink or fetish, they do not want anyone to know about their sexual desires. They are not able to come out of their kinky closet for fear of ridicule and embarrassment, and remain cloaked in guilt and shame. Is this what kink has come to? To a place where we require a month of raising awareness that probably everything you do sexually is considered kinky by someone else, somewhere? Perhaps having that knowledge will make sex a more positive experience for some. How kinky is that? If you have a question or a topic you would like to have covered in this column, please go to: and click on the link for the Google form. It is 100% anonymous. Thank you.